My ranking of these selections, based on personal qualifications of necessity, building, and satisfaction:
1 Jones
2 Sarrantonio
3 O'Nan
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| Stewart O'Nan |
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| Al Sarrantonio |
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| Diana Wynne Jones |
Wednesday, March 28, 2012
Gaiman's STORIES: O'Nan, Jones, and Sarrantonio
My ranking of these selections, based on personal qualifications of necessity, building, and satisfaction:
1 Jones
2 Sarrantonio
3 O'Nan
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Things we learn in the first paragraph of O’Nan’s “Land of the Lost”:
ReplyDelete- Main character is a woman
- Main character is a cashier
- MC is divorced
- MC has two sons
- Time period (reference to websites)
- MC has a German shepherd, Ollie, who is her “sole companion”
- MC is obsessed about the story of the murder of someone else’s son (and she’s been secretly researching/ investigating the crime)
- MC puts enormous faith into her intuitions.
…Wow. As far as first paragraphs go, this one is completely loaded to the brim. Now that I’m consciously picking it apart, I’m realizing how much really should go into those first few sentences, (and how little I’ve been putting into mine). I wrote in the margin, “Damn. My stories need work,” since my openings have only a fraction of the amount of information we see here.
While I can see the strength of that first paragraph, I can’t say the rest of the story did much of anything for me. A lot of it felt wrapped up, contrived, and just not real—like it was clearly written our as a story and not real. I guess this probably says more about what I look for when I’m reading, but a story that feels more like a rejected episode of CSI than reality, I find it tough to enjoy.
I might even have been willing to humor the idea that the main character’s obsession for this crime was a result of how “no one else needs her” besides Ollie (though that’s still pretty melodramatic). However, since O’Nan so explicitly says it, it becomes clear that that’s the lens he wants us to view this story in.
I guess what frustrated me about this story is that I felt like I could see its scaffolding. It became real predictable, real quickly. If I’m going to sit down with a story, I need to be challenged and stimulated either emotionally or cognitively. If I feel like I know what’s coming, none of that stimulation is going to happen. (Of course, I realize that O’Nan is doing it better than I could, and that I probably sound like a hypocrite because of that. But, I’m willing to say that some of the stories we’ve seen in workshop (Will’s “Hands, Nails, Left, Right” or Alexis’s “Star Student” come to mind), did more for me than O'Nan's.)
I agree with a good deal of what Alex says in his comment. There is a lot packed into that first paragraph. It's funny, because I feel like I was always taught to start with interesting movement in order to get the reader engaged before I slow down and drop in the back story. And yet here, of course, the merit of packing info into the first paragraph is pretty clear. You do get a feel for what the whole story is going to be like, as well as how to view the narrator/protagonist. Like Alex, I'll be making a conscious effort to better my opening paragraphs after seeing that in action in O'Nan's story.
ReplyDeleteI also felt too strongly like I was reading a story - that it was crafted specifically to make me feel a certain way at certain points, like it was working hard to get across specific things and evoke certain moods, rather than simply telling a story and letting me feel natural responses. Stories that are "too crafted" bother me, and the last line plays off as a sort of gimmick - it doesn't truly conclude the story.
Actually, I wasn't bothered by the gimmick Sarrantonio pulled at the end of "The Cult of the Nose". I think it's because that story was surreal and kind of wacky from the beginning, and so it didn't feel out of place for the ending to be so wild and unexpected. "Land of the Lost," though, is presented as very real, except for the strange things the protagonist does, and I think that's why the cop-out ending bothers me so much. I was expecting a full story, and this wasn't at all emotionally satisfying.
That said, I don't dislike O'Nan's writing itelf. I got very invested because of the mood and pacing, despite feeling like the voice pushed too hard sometimes, particularly the line that Alex pointed out, which was my least favorite part of the story. I am curious as to what else O'Nan has to offer.
Ooh, I like Alex's idea! I'm going to go through and comment on the story based upon the Beginning Middle and End criteria we discussed in class.
ReplyDeleteBEGINNING
Come out of a necessity? Definitely not for me. Although the "cashier at a Bilo" sets a certain tone, and "marraige had long since" is crucial, and all the information in this paragraph is important to us understanding what kind of woman would become obsessed like this, the opening line doesn't grab me. That opening sentence could be tacked on to half a million short stories about all different things. So I'd say the opening line is a waste, but the rest of the paragraph does come out of a necessity. It allows the structure to be very simple, put everything out there, and then show us the action and the main point. It does start to dictate my imagination, especially lines like "so much that her manager asked her to stop" which is a subtle but telling observation, and really sets a tone. Also, "buried the girl" other than being important information is attention grabbing.
MIDDLE
Build. Build. Build. For sure, as sure as her efforts are escalating the tension and the story are escalating. I didn't get bored, in part because it was so short, and also maybe because he did vary the pacing, as when as vary the actual action.
Gives the sense that something is at stake? For sure, even though no character but her conveys tension or stake. Especially the line, "
A story with such an obvious question--does she find the girl? that drives the narrative, main character, and reader can be both good and bad at creating an "and then what happened" feeling. It may be too obvious of a structure and readers may get bored, or it may be effective in keeping them interested. I think no matter what, when you have such an obvious question driving the structure, (and maybe no matter what) if the main character is someone a reader can care about, the reader will keep reading. I really liked her. He maintained my investment in the story by maintaining my investment in her, from the way she talks to her dog when shes really talking to herself, her resourcefulness, enrolling Ollie in sniffing courses online, the way she tells her sons unflinchingly, "refusing to lie," etc.
END
Answers a necessity? I'd say definitely. I would have hated if she didn't find anything, even if something could be said with that, it wouldn't have been satisfying. I don't think we need to know if it is the girl or not, or if she becomes the hero or not, or what she does after all this (in a way, that might be the saddest part of the story is that she'll have no one who needs her, again)--we know she's found something as soon as Ollie lies down. I don't like the last sentence because I think it shifts the meaning of the story. She isn't crazy--she's lonely and she feels like no one needs her. She doesn't have a purpose or a mission beyond this. But the last line, her affirming that she isn't crazy, makes it sound like she in fact is, and that's not what the story was about.
Oh, correction. The line I'm referring to in the "Middle" section is "She could admit that at least part of the reason she was searching for a strangers daughter was that no one else needed her." (Something like that.)
ReplyDeleteFirst, can I just say that “Cult of the Nose” actually seriously creeped me out? When I first started to read it, I thought, with a title like that, this story would have to be fairly ridiculous. It was, but it was also unexpectedly terrifying—although “terrifying” might be too strong of a word. I felt like “Cult of the Nose” would be the horror film version of “National Treasure,” if such a thing existed. Before I get too far, I should probably mention that documentary-style horror movies scare the living daylights out of me. So, Paranormal Activity? My worst nightmare, almost literally. I felt that this story was working in the same way, narrating a person’s findings that directly referred to something concrete and tangible in my reality—like the Hitler photos. But, I guess that’s the strength of this piece. Sarrantonio wrote in a way that would convince the reader, using a serious, straightforward narrator and supplying concrete details that the reader could take to the bank. I certainly did.
ReplyDeleteI think that’s why “Land of the Lost” didn’t work so well for me and, I think, for the people who have already commented. I definitely agree with Alex that I thought the ending was a bit gimmicky. I wanted to see what happened after she found the body, what people had to say, but it appears that wasn’t the necessity the story set out to answer. So, does this mean that a story might not succeed even if it does answer the necessity it sets out in the beginning? I think the ending of “Land of the Lost” doesn’t do the story justice. Yes, I’m glad she found the body, but I don’t think the story ends there. If there’s the indication of further action, I think that should be considered—would including that action complete the story or drag it out needlessly? In this case, I think something more should have been added to the end.
As for “Samantha’s Diary,” I thought it was a cute twist on combining the old and the new. Also, as I was never good at math, this story really answered that pesky math question, “how many gifts in total did the receiver get from the good friend after twelve days?” Wow. I don’t think I’d like the birds part so much, but I’d sell those rings in a heartbeat. Merry Christmas to me! Other than that, I didn’t really learn too much from this story. It was enjoyable to read, to see how Samantha fared with all those gifts, but it didn’t really make me think too much.
Reading O’ Nan’s “Land of the Lost” I couldn’t help being reminded of the time I lost my keys at the park. I made a map and obsessively dug holes all around the park searching for my lost keys. I felt as if finding my keys paralleled my search for meaning in a life that had been a disappointment. After a few months of digging I dug up my last hole and found…a dead body in a sleeping bag. I looked down and thought, “These aren’t my keys!” So I filled in the hole and went home. Later I found my keys behind the couch. The really interesting part about this story is that I’m Stuart O’ Nan.
ReplyDeleteANYWAY. I agree with Alex over the jam-packed amount of details we get in that first paragraph. O’Nan does not waste any time giving you the basic details to tell the story he wants to tell. O’ Nan does not give you every detail, however, he leaves a pretty good amount out. It reminded me of our discussions over whether workshops are definitively helpful. If this story were being workshopped, people (myself included) would ask for a lot. We would want to know ages and physical descriptions of her sons. We would want a scene of her at work, seeing exactly how her daily life is when she’s not looking for the dead body. Details about the body, the website, the divorce would all be requested for clarity and meaning. And almost all of these suggestions would be unnecessary and probably damage the story. I’m not saying all workshops are hurting stories, I believe the opposite in the vast majority of cases, but it does give a good example of how to leave out some details while highlighting the crucial ones. O’ Nan realizes he does not have to spell everything out for us. Like Jazz, sometimes the most important notes are the ones you don’t play.
As another visiting writer descends upon SU it reminds of the same quasi-fantasy I have every time a successful, respected writer comes to town. At the reading I ask a question, make a comment, or something that really impresses him. Later on, I’m out for a drink at the bar and look who it is- the visiting writer. I buy him a drink as he regales me with stories of the literary world. We make a lasting connection while getting hammered like a scene out of every Mitch Albom book. As he leaves he thanks everyone for their hospitality but he really just means me because of our deep, intellectual connection. None of this will happen. Just to be clear if needed I will get Stuart O’ Nan drunk. Just sayin’.
So I have an odd little habit of reflecting on the quality of a story based on whatever stupid look is left on my face when I put the book down. In the case of "Samantha’s Diary" it was a stupid smile mixed with a quirked eyebrow and a “huhhh?” hanging off my lips. But I loved it. I thought about it over and over and over trying to understand why Diana Wynne Jones wrote this in such away.
ReplyDeleteSpecifically I wondered why it had to be set in the future and why we kept hearing about how much her feet hurt. I guess the easy answer is to say it was set in the future to create the character Housebot – whom I loved despite his being a robot that has been tampered with – and to explain why someone wouldn’t know the 12 Days of Christmas song. There was a lot of points in this story I felt were introduced and abandoned. My biggest question is of course what did they do to Franz? Why did she call him to her flat?
But it seemed to me the point of the story was about the getting of gifts, of defining romance by the amount of cash put into it, as though it were a business venture.
The narrator’s mother set up the idea what with her “occupation” of marrying millionaires for their money. Samantha also spends money to make herself happy, the day after Christmas she goes out to Sales and buys thousand dollar Stiltskins. SO when this abundance of gifts arrives, and they aren’t immediately valuable (like the parrots) she is overwhelmed. So she turns to Liam, who I originally I though he was also rich, since rich folks seem to be the only kind she associated with.
But Liam calls her out on it, and they take the golden rings and run away and have a true romance hiding from Franz? It’s strange and familiar and quirky and it made me think. When I first saw the length of the story I groaned, but once I started reading I wasn’t distracted by the comings and goings and odd noises of the house. I think this is one of the reasons I love stories that ask me to involve myself in another world, on that doesn’t fully mirror my own. The have a tighter hold on me. This isn’t to say that other stories don’t engage me. I just think that we’ve seen the story about a relationship driven by one-sided give and take many times before, but never quite in this way. Some might say that it is easier to write a story with a new world, but I think it is of equal difficulty if not harder.
In another world story, the world can’t take from the story. It has to add to it. I still haven’t decided if the future setting of “Samantha’s Diary” added to the story, but it certainly didn’t take anything away from the story. And honestly I love the image of Housebot with a goose on its flat head to much to criticize it too much.
There is a silly woman on the ground there, do you see her? It looks as if she’s uptight, her dog is whining and she just silences it. I wish I could pet the dog, I used to like how fur felt.
ReplyDeleteI think she’s a grounds keeper; she’s picking the foliage off of my trough. I’ve always wanted flowers to grow around here. She’s measuring it with a pitchfork—what is that you say? She’s not going to plant things around me? How sad, something living would be nice around here, all I ever see are trucks coming and leaving. Nothing ever stays too long, I hope she stays, she seems nice.
“November third, 2008, 1:27 p.m.” Has it been that long? I wonder what she’s doing now, grown-ups are so weird. She’s stabbing it? Stabbing me? The dirt around me is cracking, my skin can practically smell the air again.
I’m excited for my body, so excited that I want to try and pet her dog again, but every time I get close he just whimpers. “Shush,” she says to him as I get close. It’s quite sad.
I plop down and just watch as she breaks into the hard mud for the third time, this time she pulled up a piece of my sleeping bag. I remember fighting mommy on the color of it, she wanted me to get purple or blue, but I wanted green just like my older brother had. Green is such a pretty color…
She’s frantic now; she’s dropped to her knees, tosses her gloves and her pitchfork, and is digging with her fingers. A few more inches of my sleeping bag are pulled out and I’m happy again, happier than I’ve been in a long time. I can practically remember how soft and warm it was when I used to snuggle up in it on family camping trips and my days as a girl scout.
She unzipped my cocoon and I am shocked she didn’t jump back when she saw what happened to my face, well my teeth. They’re brown now, like daddy’s cups after coffee had been left in them for too long. I’m almost sad, but I can feel her warmth before she pulls back and waits on the end of the tub.
Before I speak about "Land of the Lost," I want to mention the most pressing thing on my mind right now: the reason why I couldn't bring myself to read "The Cult of the Nose" carefully. For one thing, from the beginning, most of the information in the story is presented through summaries of the narrator's findings, which is not nearly as interested in investing oneself in scenes. While we might recall the visual of a snapshot of Hitler with nose-wearing Nazis in the crowd, I think most of us would agree that the most memorable parts of the story are more grounded in scene, setting, and immediacy: meeting a strange man in the shadow of the Eiffel Tower, receiving instructions from a kid at Yankee Stadium, the bath and the fire at the hotel, etc. But really, summary isn't the main reason why I found myself fighting the urge to skim through this story. I've been thinking about what Catherine has recently said about the story dictating our imaginations and teaching us how to read it. Well, this story made me understand from the get-go that it was essentially a very long joke, that all of the examples from history and literature were part of the set-up, and if I just skipped to the end then I would get the punch line. Most of the story was neither funny nor interesting enough to sustain my interest throughout that many pages, and I was eagerly awaiting (in a "get to the point" way, not in a good, "edge of my seat" way) the ending where I expected a punch line, and of course I was right.
ReplyDelete(Had to break this up. Here's Part 2.)
ReplyDeleteNow, I suppose I should devote some attention to Stewart O’Nan’s “Land of the Lost.” We’ve been talking so much about beginnings that I thought I might provide some insight about what information we get in the opening lines, but I see that Alex has already covered that territory quite thoroughly, and I must face the consequences of being a bit late to the party. I’ve also seen that multiple people have taken up a position against the last line (“Then everyone would know she wasn’t crazy”) because this sentence steers them toward a reading of the story that they don’t like, care about, or agree with. But what if, only for a moment, we grant Stewart O’Nan the possibility that he may have been right to conclude this story with the word “crazy,” that perhaps he wanted to leave readers with the demand that they answer this question for themselves: Is this woman crazy? And in response to that question, here’s where I would like to expand upon Alex’s reading of the first paragraph by adding my own observation (which could constitute its own bullet point or perhaps only a sub-point to be placed underneath the one about our protagonist’s obsession with the murder and the missing body): This woman is pretty definitively crazy. Looking at the first paragraph again, here’s part of a line that I missed on my first reading or have forgotten since: “discussing it with her coworkers and customers—so much so that her manager had to ask her to stop.” I like this brushstroke, because it’s equal parts humorous and disconcerting. In this line, O’Nan suggests that the murder, the mystery, and the quest for the girl not only constitute an obsession for the protagonist but a dangerous one that is interfering with every aspect of her life, which is part of the definition of crazy. In a full-fledged paper, I might present a lot more evidence to support my accusation of insanity, but since this is only a blog post I think I’ll leave it at that.
12/12/2012 Earthquakes rocked the east coast of USA, as well as Japan, China, and Hawaii was nearly wiped off the face of Earth. Tsunamis devastated the east coast of USA and the West coast of Europe. Nearly a million killed.
ReplyDelete12/13/2012 Solar Flares are what the scientists blame it on; strange weather wrapped the globe. Snow in Australia, Tornadoes in Russia. A heat hovered over me, and I’m from Maine.
12/14/2012 What started as a heat wave turned into a world wide blizzard. I feel like we are going into an ice age. Companies and corporations started to close down until everything returns to normal.
12/15/2012 Something’s wrong, Our world is done for. The super volcano at Yellowstone Park erupted. Most of the continental US was incinerated. My parents sent me on a boat to Europe, supposedly it is safe there.
12/16/2012 The world is in constant night. Darkness surrounds the sky as far as the eye can see. The sun is up there somewhere but the ash blocks any sight of it.
12/17/2012 Rumor has it that the in-tact bodies of the recently deceased have somehow been reanimated and are attacking people. Military efforts in most countries have been increased to protect those still alive. I think the US is done for. Seems more like a zombie epidemic.
12/18/2012 The ocean water looks toxic. I know the surface is littered with ash. I still haven’t seen the sun. It is like a lingering cloud of darkness, which is shadowing over the world.
12/19/2012 My boat arrived in Cypress. It is supposedly a safe-haven which has been unaffected by the recent events, all things considered. There are a few feet of snow and the sun remains beyond the blanket of darkness overhead.
12/20/2012 News arrived today that contact with America, Australia and South America have been lost. The political leaders of Russia, France, Germany, Great Britain, and China formed an alliance, with efforts to protect the people.
12/21/2012 Today they arrived. Massive war ships emerged from the ash, unleashing abominations of creatures upon the world. An estimated 2.8 Billion were killed today.
12/22/2012 The creatures who raved the earth came and left within 24 hours, leaving the survivors utterly devastated.
12/23/2012 The ash filled sky glowed blue as the Earth was struck by some sort of beam, cracking the planet in half, then all was finished.
One quality I noticed about the three stories we read is the lack of secondary characters. Each story has only one major character, and the narration is tightly focused on them. The other characters, like the man sending Samantha all those birds and Ollie in “Land of the Lost,” didn’t grab my attention. I’m probably noticing this because I normally include a large number of characters in my stories (particularly my most recent workshop story) and worry that the reader struggles to keep track of them all. The number of characters in these three stories helped me focus on each of the protagonists without becoming confused or overwhelmed, especially since the plots were overwhelming enough.
ReplyDeleteThere is a note of absurdity to each of the situations presented in these stories (i.e. a LOT of crazy obsession). The most obvious is “Samantha’s Diary,” where she is sent birds, the deliveries mimicking the 12 Days of Christmas song. Her admirer is a rich man she’s only met once, and he has become obsessed with wooing her. I found the story fun to read, especially since I caught onto the 12 Days of Christmas pattern way before Samantha, so I felt pretty smart. “The Cult of the Nose” was my least favorite because it presented itself in more of a journalistic way: little dialogue, summaries of events where the noses appeared, and direction the protagonist takes in his journey to discover the truth. The main character is obsessed with uncovering this cult of people who shows up at huge traumatic events wearing fake noses. I spent most of the time skimming the story, but the ending caught my attention. We have to decide for ourselves whether or not the narrator is reliable.
“Land of the Lost” gave me some serious Casey Anthony trial flashbacks. This time, however, only the protagonist is obsessed with finding the little girl’s body—no one else has the sense of urgency that she does. I agree with everyone else who has posted that the ending didn’t quite do it for them. I wanted to see if she’d really found the girl, because I was interested in seeing her reaction. She’s spent all this time searching for this body, but what happens when she actually finds it? Seeing a dead body can mess with people’s heads, and I’m wondering what it would do to an obsessed/crazy person. I think that was a missed opportunity on O’Nan’s part.
I haven't read 'Cult of the Nose' yet but both 'Land of the Lost' and 'Samantha's diary' feels incomplete. I was able to breeze through both really quickly - but 'Samantha's Diary' was funny and 'Land of the Lost' was just...meh.
ReplyDeleteFirst paragraph - packed with information, but then it gets confusing because at first I don't know what case O'Nan is talking about to begin with. I'm not going to belabor the point because I think other people have already covered the subject of first paragraphs.
I do feel like it is REALISTIC but it's one of those realistic moments that just doesn't make an earthshattering story. I'm trying to get my thoughts together here...it's a glimpse into the heart of one person - the goodness of one person. Because, she is GOOD - who else would go around looking for the deceased daughter of some stranger?
Most people WOULD think she's crazy - because very few people have enough patience and compassion and determination to do things like that. If she was the FBI it wouldn't be so weird (unless she kept after the case after it was dismissed or ignored or whatever). But since she's a normal person, it's weird and crazy from the start.
Now, Ollie's Owner (she doesn't appear to be named) is contrasted to Franz from 'Samantha's Diary'. Sending presents from the 12 Days of Christmas (in the exact way the song presents it) is another thing that most people won't do – most people would modify it, I think.
But whereas Ollie's owner is doing this out of determination and goodness of heart (and perhaps to give herself a sense of purpose) Franz seems to simply be suffering from a serious brain fog. I am upset as to how we never see Franz show up at Samantha's apartment and suffer the consequences of his stupidity but I liked it overall.
'Samantha's Dairy' seemed more fleshed out a world than 'Land of the Lost' because we get what type of person Samantha is and the kind of world she lives in (the kind of world where rich old men send frustrating presents of birds and animals and other silly things) and also - Housebot was awesome despite its automatoness. Poor Housebot.
I actually found these stories very enjoyable and I was very absorbed into the stories. The first one “Samantha’s Diary” I was a little dreading because I read another book by the same author Howl’s Moving Castle and that took me very long to get through. But the story of “Samantha’s Diary” caught me by surprised in that I just had to continue on because the story had less technical descriptive paragraphs than the book. I also liked how she used the twelve days of Christmas with a new twist which I’ve never really thought could happen. Though I still do wonder why Franz would thought that sending the same gift multiple times would do anything to get the girl because I thought that in the story the true love would only send it once. In any case it made the story very interesting by having Franz sending the gifts multiple times because it drove Samantha to change and to go back to her old lover before the diary ends.
ReplyDeleteOut of all three stories I liked Stewart O’Nan’s story the best though I wish it had expanded. I really liked the main character and her dog as they made the story very unique and I could really continue to her. At first I thought it was going to be a typical story about a woman trying to solve a crime but I don’t think it ends up being about the crime itself. I think it is about the woman trying to prove to herself and to the world that she could do something wrong since her family left her except for her dog. I think this goal is what enabled me to connect with the story more as I really can understand what she is going through. I also really liked O’Nan’s writing style in that it felt very smooth to me and yet had this sense of mystery to me, which kept me reading.
The story “The Cult of the Nose”, I have no idea how to begin with this story. It was both weird and yet interesting at the same time. Though at the first I had trouble figuring out what the nose really was and why people were doing this. In fact I still really don’t know if it is real or not. After thinking about it, I thought that maybe it was just part of PTSD or from drugs, I don’t know. This story took me a little longer to get through than the other stories because I didn’t really care for the beginning. It only picked up after he started to see the nose for himself. If I read it over and over again, then it would make a lot more sense to me.
As for beginnings, the only story that I could think of that fit with what we discussed in class would be the Stewart O’Nan’s piece. It told us who the character was, what the story was going to be, and sort of what to expect from these characters. In the “Samantha’s Diary”, the first thing we see is a sentence explaining a little bit about the diary though I am still confused on what really happened. In the first paragraph of the first entry we do get a sense of what the characters are like but the conflict doesn’t first appear until later on in the entry. In the “Cult of the Nose” story, all the first paragraph did for me was to tell about the cult’s origins and that it is in first person point of view, which is, probably why I got so confused on what the story is going to be about.
Part of Alex’s reaction to Land of the Lost was how I felt about “The Cult of the Nose.” I felt like information was being withheld from me for an unnecessarily long amount of time. I wanted to know just what exactly was a Nose, how it differed from a nose, what the deal with the Cult was, etc.
ReplyDeleteI did get this feeling a little bit with “Land of the Lost,” but knowing the so much about the story from the very beginning diffused some of this feeling for me. I think it’s just that both the authors referred to the subject of their stories in such vague terms but repeat it over and over that gives me that feeling in the first place.